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10 September 2008 @ 11:31 pm
September Prompt - What are Your Dreams  
I was listening, honestly I was. The speaker discussing transmigration was phenomenal. But I kept letting my thoughts drift back to Michael. I had long ago stopped dreaming of the imminent future. I say imminent because of course it is going to happen, but what part of that future will I be? I am thankful for every day that I wake up, my limbs tangled with Michaels, the soft gentle sound of him breathing the only thing I hear, the first thing I hear every morning. But I still wanted to dream.

“Life is a journey.
Death is a return to earth.
The universe is like an inn.
The passing years are like dust.

Regard this phantom world
As a star at dawn, a bubble in a stream,
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp - a phantom - and a dream.”

I heard what he was saying, I knew what he was saying at this point. But how can you not want to be a part of someone you love’s life. At this point, my dreams had been rekindled. Michael had relit the fire of my dreams. They were a tad different than everyone else’s. Of course, I wished that I could be in attendance at our 50th anniversary, give Michael a present that would last forever on his 60th birthday. As Buddha says, I was reminded by our speaker, if we were to light a succession of candles from one they would all be a different flame, but still casually connected to the master flame. My wish now is to be a flame that carries on through Michael’s life. I was not arrogant enough to believe that I had reached the enlightenment that leads to nirvana. Instead, I was dreaming of reincarnation that still let me be connected to the man I love. And I fully believed, when I allowed myself to dream, that the universe would align just right for this to be possible. To be there to see the smile that crosses his lips when JR leaves for her first prom, to see the pride in his eyes as Hunter walks down the aisle. And, as we filed out of the temple I thought, I know I will be there. One way or another.
profzenbenprofzenben on September 11th, 2008 05:20 am (UTC)
You didn't have to say it. I know you. And I love you. And I'll be ready, with open arms, to catch you.

I love your gray hairs, Brown Eyes.